Video games tend to copy movies. There’s no getting away from it, the younger medium takes its cue from the older and that’s just the way things are until video games take over the world. Until then, we have to put up with cliches that were jaw-clenchingly awkward in the cinema, now used in even the most highly acclaimed video games. Here are the five worst ways games copy the movies:
5. Universal English
As seen in: Mass Effect 3
Why would a creature from another planet speak English, when in Europe you only have to travel a few hundred miles across the same continent to find another homo sapien who doesn’t speak the same language as us? Why would an alien species even be capable of speaking, when it’s just as likely they communicate by telepathy, blinking or wafting farts into eachother’s faces?
As seen in: Devil May Cry 4
We don’t care if you’ve trained diligently in martial arts from birth for 30 yearts in a Shaolin monastery, can break bones by breathing on people and your mystical folded steel katana fells ancient oak trees in a single swipe; if you take on even one guy with a gun at range, a bullet will inevitably puncture your body and then, you’re f**ked. At least Indiana Jones got it right.
3. Bullet Time
As seen in: Syndicate
Dress it up any way you like: split-second reaction, time manipulation, magic pixie dust or psychotropic substances, it’s bullet time. Why not just throw in a dozen white doves and call it John Woo mode because you’re not fooling anyone.
As seen in: Sleeping Dogs
The soft-focus background explosion turns any protagonist into a hard-as-nails hero except, this became a Hollywood ham-fest over a decade ago. But for some reason, developers think that now cut-scene technology rivals cinema quality, they can do it all over again. And again. And again and again andagainandagain…
As seen in: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
It’s not the roar itself, it’s… well, put yourself in the proverbial shoes of the dragon, kraken, behemoth, whatever. You’re an apex predator and you haven’t got to the top of the food chain by warning every potential prey item for miles around that you’re about. And once you’ve cornered them, do you honestly think those humans could be more scared of you, a gargantuan lump of fanged carnivorous muscle, by roaring in our faces at the top of your lungs? We want to die every time you pause for dramatic effect just prior to battle and that’s not because we’re soiling our pants with fear, it’s because we’re mortally embarrased for you.